Life with Suzie – Man-speak

I have coined a phrase “man-speak” in our family. It is the ability of a man to communicate in monosyllables, grunts and other non-verbal forms of communication like gestures, a nod of the head or a raised eyebrow. I suppose you could also call it the secret language of men.

Two men, who have just met, can sit in what may seem like silence, watching a ball game on TV and at the end of it, are the best of buddies. The fact that they seemed to say nothing to one another is immaterial. They were communicating the whole time with man-speak

There is just one problem with man-speak, women don’t understand it.

Let me illustrate it with a real life example. Sometime last year Suzie asked me to unlock the front door for our domestic worker. I responded in man speak – which may have been a nod of the head or a grunt – I can’t remember.

“Did you hear what I just asked?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Well you didn’t answer me”, was the response.

“Oh, but I did,” I assured her, “it was in man-speak.”

That evening I resumed the discussion on man-speak, with Suzie and daughter-in-law. For some strange reason they did not understand the principles.

“It is simple,” I said, “a man can say a lot with a simple non-verbal gesture, like inclining their head.”

“Well so can a woman,” came back the retort, as Suzie gave me her best rendition of a withering look.

I was not slow in responding. “The difference is that with a man the gesture is not followed by a barrage of words.” I just knew that I pushed the right button, as I saw Suzie lining up with a retort.

Daughter-in-law got in first. “Don’t fall for it Sue,” she said.

Suzie’s jaw clamped shut and I was subjected to another look.

The moral of the story is two fold. A man generally does not win an argument with a woman – when there are two he is lost. And then don’t use man-speak on women, because it will get you nowhere.